Thursday, December 13, 2012
Santa's Headaches
Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 5 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy
Timmy,
That's what I thought you little bastard.
Santa
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
This seems to fit the times...
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do
justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated
to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
The Talmud
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Zooooommmm...
Wow.
I haven't updated since June?
Life got busy.
Perhaps I'll rectify the situation soon.
As you were.
I haven't updated since June?
Life got busy.
Perhaps I'll rectify the situation soon.
As you were.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
* To those who have died in war and conflict - Blessed Be
* To those who strive for peace - Brightest Blessings
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace... you whooo
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
-John Lennon
* To those who strive for peace - Brightest Blessings
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace... you whooo
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
-John Lennon
Hanging in...
I prayed for change, so I changed my mind.
I prayed for guidance and learned to trust myself.
I prayed for happiness and realized I am not my ego.
I prayed for peace and learned to accept others unconditionally.
I prayed for abundance and realized my doubt kept it out.
I prayed for wealth and realized it is my health.
I prayed for a miracle and realized I am the miracle.
I prayed for a soul mate and realized I am the One.
I prayed for love and realized it’s always knocking,
but I have to allow it in.
- Jackson Kiddard
I prayed for guidance and learned to trust myself.
I prayed for happiness and realized I am not my ego.
I prayed for peace and learned to accept others unconditionally.
I prayed for abundance and realized my doubt kept it out.
I prayed for wealth and realized it is my health.
I prayed for a miracle and realized I am the miracle.
I prayed for a soul mate and realized I am the One.
I prayed for love and realized it’s always knocking,
but I have to allow it in.
- Jackson Kiddard
Sunday, April 08, 2012
To Do (with diabolical music playing as background)
Step 1: Go someplace public with your laptop.
Step 2: Click HERE
Step 3: Press f11
Step 4: Start typing frantically.
Step 5: Make sure other people see your screen.
Step 6: ???????
Step 7: Enjoy!
Step 2: Click HERE
Step 3: Press f11
Step 4: Start typing frantically.
Step 5: Make sure other people see your screen.
Step 6: ???????
Step 7: Enjoy!
Tuesday, April 03, 2012
It pays to check your SPAM filter!
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
It pays to
check your SPAM every now and then…
Got an
email from the FBI!!!!
Hello, I am *insert
phony name* The THIRD and I am the EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE FBI. It is true
I would not lie to you!
The email
went on to name drop a half dozen official sounding USA organizations and
Interpol and the bank of Nigeria.
It then
told me only to respond to this email and everyone in all organizations will
disavow all knowledge of this operation as it is secret – they are trying to
trap a criminal and must secretly monitor and wiretap my accounts and phone so
if wouldn’t mind to please confirm my name SS# bank account mother maiden name….
Yaddayaddayadda… failure to do so is punishable by LAW. THE ARMY will ARREST YOU!
Ummm okay sport. BRING IT! LOL
I have a
problem! Someone schedule an intervention – I compulsively collect recipes. I
have a billion pdfs on my computer, and my allrecipes.com box is fast filling
up, and on Pinterest… *sigh*
However, it
did pay off…
Buy a box
of sugar cones; fill them with chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, caramels,
mini-marshmallows, nuts, and anything else you want to fit in.
Then,
either:
1) Heat the
oven to 375 -400F and prop the filled cones up in something that props them
somewhat vertical (I used a small loaf pan). Basically you don’t want the
melting goo to spill out. Bake for 15-20 minutes.
2) Wrap in
foil and stick in a camp fire. (Can’t vouch for this method as I didn’t have a
campfire handy)
Eat and
enjoy.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Heart Day!
Loving is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand, and Stars, 1939
I'm not a fan of this manipulative commercial guilt driven holiday. If you love someone, tell them everyday.
Instead of romance how about we "love" everyone, or if "love" is too hard, lets just not hate.
Give a thought to your heart as well... February is Heart Health Month. Get off the couch, get off the internet, go out and do something health for your heart! ... and while you're at it - Eat a vegetable or two.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Happy 2012.
Gott Nytt År
Feliz Año Nuevo
Godt Nytår
Bonne Année
Glückliches Neues Jahr
Athbhliain Shona
Blwyddyn Newydd Dda
However you say it...
May the best you have ever seen be the worst you will ever see.
May the mouse never leave your grain store with a tear drop in its eye.
May you always stay hale and hearty until you are old enough to die.
May you still be as happy as I always wish you to be.
May the hill rise behind you,
And may the mountain be always over the crest;
And may the God that you believe in
Hold you in the palm of his hand.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
“Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to
places you have never been. Sleep out alone under the stars. Learn how
to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not
coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if
your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide
whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more
important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing.”
| — | Eve Ensler |
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Instead of watching TV...
You know what you should do? Take photos of friends with their face squished against glass. Then assign the pictures to your phone contacts; it'll look like they're trapped inside your phone... just a thought.
Lest you think I have original thoughts, I confess to having stolen this from someone on Twitter ... or Tumblr... or somewhere.
Lest you think I have original thoughts, I confess to having stolen this from someone on Twitter ... or Tumblr... or somewhere.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Magic
“I want to be magic. I want to touch the heart of the world and make it smile. I want to be a friend of elves and live in a tree. Or under a hill. I want to marry a moonbeam and hear the stars sing. I don’t want to pretend at magic anymore. I want to be magic.”
~ Charles de Lint
art credit: "Light Flurries", R. Gonsalves
Friday, October 07, 2011
Saturday, October 01, 2011
Drove to Bethesda, drove home.
Saw relatives. Ate too much.
Cold dreary single-digit weather.
I love it.
Today is October 1 - first day of my favourite month.
Two holidays - one month.
10 days until my accounting test.
14 days until I need to have completed an 1812-style ball gown.
photo credit: unknown
If it's yours let me know I'd love to give you credit and send readers to your gallery.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Food for Thought
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
Sarah Williams
from "The Old Astronomer to His Pupil" in Best Loved Poems of the American People
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
Sarah Williams
from "The Old Astronomer to His Pupil" in Best Loved Poems of the American People
I love this...
I put it here, there, and everywhere more for me than for you gentle readers.
Hopefully you enjoy it too.
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
If it was only this easy.
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.
The i-Tit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup & speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them....
QED
Problem solved.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Food for Thought
Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities also has the power to make you commit atrocities.
~Voltaire
Something to think about as our politicians and religious leaders spout rhetoric and propaganda
Thursday, July 14, 2011
just cuz...
Looking behind I am filled with gratitude. Looking forward I am filled with vision. Looking upwards I am filled with strength. Looking within I discover peace.
Quero Apache Prayer
Friday, June 17, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Food for Thought
Put very simply, prayer is when we ask the universe for something, and meditation is when we stop and listen.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Do yourself a favour and watch this
Caution: Don't try drinking or eating anything while viewing.
May NOT be suitable for small children, bosses, pastors and the like
May NOT be suitable for small children, bosses, pastors and the like
Thursday, March 24, 2011
It figures...
Fertility Goddess Asherah: Was 'God's Wife' Edited Out of the Bible?
Didn't she "enhance" the plot?
Perhaps she outshone the male protagonist?
More power to the "uppity female"!
Didn't she "enhance" the plot?
Perhaps she outshone the male protagonist?
More power to the "uppity female"!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Newest project
The (mostly) Marvellous Memoirs of a Modern Medieval Maven
fret not, I shall still be here...
This is just something new, separate, and focused.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
International Women's Day
I abhor the term "feminist" - all I want is to be considered an equal and have equity in this Game of Life.
Monday, March 07, 2011
hide and seek
“Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.”
~Hafiz of Persia
~Hafiz of Persia
Saturday, March 05, 2011
Jerk
Canadian PM Harper wants to make all official communications come from the "Harper Government", not the "Government of Canada"???
A rebranding of the 'Harper Government'
He re-branded the Canadian Government by CUTTING CANADA OUT of the name.
Nice, eh?
I think 'Harper Regime' sounds good, don't you?
We already have the Loonie (1$ coin) and the Toonie (2$ coin). Why not a $3 coin called the Harpoonie? it has a nice ring to it, non?
Perhaps there should be Harper statues erected? and some Harper Palaces?
It worked for Saddam Hussein, the Ayatollah, Lenin and even Gadhafi — at least for a time.
I'm sorry but it's the Canadian Government, not the Harper Government!
Silly delusional narcissistic prime minister!
A rebranding of the 'Harper Government'
He re-branded the Canadian Government by CUTTING CANADA OUT of the name.
Nice, eh?
I think 'Harper Regime' sounds good, don't you?
We already have the Loonie (1$ coin) and the Toonie (2$ coin). Why not a $3 coin called the Harpoonie? it has a nice ring to it, non?
Perhaps there should be Harper statues erected? and some Harper Palaces?
It worked for Saddam Hussein, the Ayatollah, Lenin and even Gadhafi — at least for a time.
I'm sorry but it's the Canadian Government, not the Harper Government!
Silly delusional narcissistic prime minister!
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
'cuz yeah... Rehab fixes everything, right?
Galliano Heads To Rehab While His Friends Play Dumb
What.
A.
Douche.
...and is it just me or does every picture I've seen of this man like a cartoon character?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn.
~Henry David Thoreau
~Henry David Thoreau
It's really blustery out there tonight. Any wagers as to whether my power stays on or not? That old willow in the ravine by the main grid link... it's a'swaying.
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Cheers!
Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes...the ones who see things differently...they're not fond of rules...
They push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to... think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.
~Steve Jobs
They push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to... think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.
~Steve Jobs
Friday, January 07, 2011
Sunday, January 02, 2011
You heard the man! Get busy!
May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.
~ Neil Gaiman
~ Neil Gaiman
Saturday, January 01, 2011
The year in review
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
I don't really make'em, so I don't really keep 'em or break 'em.
I do reset - we review budgets/ savings/ schedules and organize.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes - two good friends.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
ummm... technically no. They died last year, but very close to the holidays
5. What countries did you visit?
Denmark & USA
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
more control (self-control?) of my schedule.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June - Denmark
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
lotsa progress in lots of areas, but nothing really big.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I plan to do too much, and I fail to "get to it all"
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Back issues, and hip/knee issues. All sorted. May the gods and goddess bless the alternative care types Chiropractors/massage therapists/ yoga therapists.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
my laptop
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My own family - they are awesome.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Many politicians... many public servants...
14. Where did most of your money go?
House, kids, pets
15. What were you really, really, really excited about?
Life - I know that sounds trite, but I love my family, my job, my house, my friends, and my "hobbies"
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
too many
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder?
Happier
b) Bigger or smaller?
About the same
c) Richer or poorer?
about the same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd spent more time outside with my kids, pets, and my garden
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying, procrastinating, sitting
20. How did you spend Christmas?
My in-laws came - it's all good
21. What was your favourite month of 2010?
I always love Octobers, but June was awesome!
22. Did you fall in love in 2010?!
I'm already in love
23. What were your favourite TV programmes?
no tv - I do have shows I lik but I dvd/youtube 'em, but I do love edu-tainment.
24. How will you ring in the New Year?
Kissed hubbins good-night and told each other we'd see each other next year and went to sleep.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope
26. What was the best book you read?
Practical Magic - I had no idea it was a book. *blush*
27. What were your greatest musical discoveries?
Heather Dale and Runrig
28. What did you want and get?
A nice bow, a serger, a new laptop, and an old fashion popcorn maker - pretty shallow, eh? ;)
29. What did you want and not get?
A pony! LOL just kidding! Nothing that I needed.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
I did not see anything except Robin Hood with Russell Crowe
It was not a "favourite"
31. What did you do on your birthday?
hubbin BBQ'd, kids made a cake.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
weight loss? I guess.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Yoga pants. Comfort first. Egads I hate fashion and shopping.
34. What kept you sane?
yoga and laughter.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None! I'm strangely "celebie-free". It's quite odd
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
too many - I'm "this" close to being banned from listening to the news ;P
37. Who did you miss?
Nobody really - I'm in touch with family and friends online, and in person.
38. Who were the best new people you met?)
I met Vicki in person :D
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
taking time for me is important.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up 2010.
*buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzes like a Vuvuzala*
- Went to Denmark
- Learned to cable (or more correctly - learning)
- Archery
- throw knives
- SCA events
I don't really make'em, so I don't really keep 'em or break 'em.
I do reset - we review budgets/ savings/ schedules and organize.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes - two good friends.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
ummm... technically no. They died last year, but very close to the holidays
5. What countries did you visit?
Denmark & USA
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
more control (self-control?) of my schedule.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June - Denmark
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
lotsa progress in lots of areas, but nothing really big.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I plan to do too much, and I fail to "get to it all"
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Back issues, and hip/knee issues. All sorted. May the gods and goddess bless the alternative care types Chiropractors/massage therapists/ yoga therapists.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
my laptop
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My own family - they are awesome.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Many politicians... many public servants...
14. Where did most of your money go?
House, kids, pets
15. What were you really, really, really excited about?
Life - I know that sounds trite, but I love my family, my job, my house, my friends, and my "hobbies"
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
too many
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder?
Happier
b) Bigger or smaller?
About the same
c) Richer or poorer?
about the same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd spent more time outside with my kids, pets, and my garden
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying, procrastinating, sitting
20. How did you spend Christmas?
My in-laws came - it's all good
21. What was your favourite month of 2010?
I always love Octobers, but June was awesome!
22. Did you fall in love in 2010?!
I'm already in love
23. What were your favourite TV programmes?
no tv - I do have shows I lik but I dvd/youtube 'em, but I do love edu-tainment.
24. How will you ring in the New Year?
Kissed hubbins good-night and told each other we'd see each other next year and went to sleep.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope
26. What was the best book you read?
Practical Magic - I had no idea it was a book. *blush*
27. What were your greatest musical discoveries?
Heather Dale and Runrig
28. What did you want and get?
A nice bow, a serger, a new laptop, and an old fashion popcorn maker - pretty shallow, eh? ;)
29. What did you want and not get?
A pony! LOL just kidding! Nothing that I needed.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
I did not see anything except Robin Hood with Russell Crowe
It was not a "favourite"
31. What did you do on your birthday?
hubbin BBQ'd, kids made a cake.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
weight loss? I guess.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Yoga pants. Comfort first. Egads I hate fashion and shopping.
34. What kept you sane?
yoga and laughter.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None! I'm strangely "celebie-free". It's quite odd
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
too many - I'm "this" close to being banned from listening to the news ;P
37. Who did you miss?
Nobody really - I'm in touch with family and friends online, and in person.
38. Who were the best new people you met?)
I met Vicki in person :D
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
taking time for me is important.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up 2010.
*buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzes like a Vuvuzala*
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Balls! Balls! balls!... for Christmas.
Domestic Witch is collecting balls again this year.
Here are mine.
It's a recipe my Mom got centuries ago from a Swedish friend - hence the name "Swedish Balls"
Swedish Balls
3 cups rolled oats
1/2 lb butter
2 cups white sugar
4 tbsp cocoa powder
2 tbsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp strong coffee
Mix all ingredients well. Shape into small balls. Roll in white sugar. Refrigerate.
That's it. No baking. Pretty simple, eh?
Here are mine.
It's a recipe my Mom got centuries ago from a Swedish friend - hence the name "Swedish Balls"
Swedish Balls
3 cups rolled oats
1/2 lb butter
2 cups white sugar
4 tbsp cocoa powder
2 tbsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp strong coffee
Mix all ingredients well. Shape into small balls. Roll in white sugar. Refrigerate.
That's it. No baking. Pretty simple, eh?
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Roger Ebert's Journal
An affront to the eyes of God
Some food for thought regarding women in religion.Roger Ebert's Journal
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
baby, it's cold outside ...
Brew me a cup for a winter's night.
For the wind howls loud and the furies fight;
Spice it with love and stir it with care,
And I'll toast our bright eyes,
my sweetheart fair.
~Minna Thomas Antrim
For the wind howls loud and the furies fight;
Spice it with love and stir it with care,
And I'll toast our bright eyes,
my sweetheart fair.
~Minna Thomas Antrim
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
As we head into the holidaze...
RELAX! Get over yourself. Stop being a Grinch.
I think we all know a few fellow pagans who get in a snit around the holidaze...
found @ Domestic Witch
We had a nice, serene kind of Solstice Circle. No jingling bells or faked-out Christmas Carols. Soon after the last coven member left, Jack was ready to pack it in."The baby's nestled all snug in her bed," he said with a yawn, "I think I'll go settle in for a long winter's nap."I heaved a martyred sigh. He grinned unrepentantly, kissed me, called me a grinch, and went to bed.
I stayed up and puttered around the house, trying to unwind. I sifted through the day's mail, ditched the flyers urging us to purchase all the Seasonal Joy we could afford or charge.I opened the card from his parents. Another sermonette: a manger scene and a bible verse, with a handwritten note expressing his mother's fervent hope that God's love and Christmas spirit would fill our hearts in this blessed season. She means well, really. I amused myself by picking out every Pagan element I could find in the card.
When the mail had been sorted, I got up and started turning our ritual room back into a living room. As if the greeting card had carried a virus, I found myself humming Christmas carols. I turned on the classic rock station, but they were playing that Lennon-Ono Christmas song. I switched stations. The weatherman assured me that there was only a twenty percent chance of snow. Then, by Loki, the deejay let Bruce Springsteen insult my ears crooning,
I tried the Oldies station. Elvis lives, and he does Christmas songs. Okay, fine. We'll do classical ~ no, we won't. They're playing Handel's Messiah. Maybe the community radio station would have something secular humanist.
I was about to pick out a nice secular CD when there was a knock at the door. Now, it could have been a coven member who'd forgotten something. It could have been someone with car trouble. It could have been any number of things, but it certainly couldn't have been a stout guy in a red suit--snowy beard, rosy cheeks, and all--backed by eight reindeer and a sleigh. I blinked, wondered crazily where Rudolph was, and blinked again. There were nine reindeer. Our twenty-percent chance of snow had frosted the dead grass and was continuing to float down in fat flakes.
"Hi, Frannie." he said warmly, "I've missed you."
"I'm stone cold sober, and you don't exist."
He looked at me with a mixture of sorrow and compassion and sighed heavily.
"That's why I miss you, Frannie. Can I come in? We need to talk." I couldn't quite bring myself to slam the door on this vision, hallucination, or whatever. So I let him in, because that made more sense then letting all the cold air in while I argued with someone who wasn't there.
As he stepped in, a thought crossed my mind about various entities needing an invitation to get in houses. He flashed me a smile that would melt the polar caps.
"Don't you miss Christmas, Frannie?"
"No." I said flatly, "Apparently you don't see me when I'm sleeping and waking these days. I haven't been Christian for years."
"Oh, now don't let that stop you. We both know this holiday's older than that. Yule trees and Saturnalia and here-comes-the- sun, doodoodendoodoo. "
I raised an eyebrow at the Beatles reference, then gave him my standard sermonette on the appropriation and adulteration that made Christmas no longer a Pagan holiday. I had done my homework. I listed centuries, I named names--St.Nicholas among them.
"In the twentieth century version," I assured him, "Christmas is two parts crass commercialism mixed with one part blind faith in a religion I rejected years ago." I gave him my best lines, the ones that had convinced my coven to abstain from Christmassy clichés. My hallucination sat in Jack's favorite chair, nodding patiently at me.
"And you," I added nastily,"come here talking about ancient customs when you--in your current form--were invented in the nineteenth century by, um...Clement C. Moore.
"He laughed, a rolling, belly-deep chuckle unlike any department- store Santa I'd ever heard.
"Of course I change my form now and then to suit fashion. Don't you? And does that stop you from being yourself?" He said, and asked me if I remembered Real Magic, by Isaac Bonewits. I gaped at him for a moment, then caught myself.
"This is like `Labyrinth', right? I'm having a dream that pretends to be real, but is only made from pieces of things in my memory. You don't look a thing like David Bowie."
"Bonewits has this Switchboard Theory." Santa went on amiably, "The energy you put into your beliefs influences the real existence of the archetypal-- oh,let me put it simpler: "in the beginning, Man created God'. Ian Anderson."
He lit a long-stemmed pipe. The tobacco had a mild and somehow Christmassy smell, and every puff sent up a wreath of smoke. "I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than Bonewits tells it, but that's close enough for mortals. Are you with me so far?"
"Oh, sure." I lied as unconvincingly as possible.
Santa sighed heavily."When's the last time you left out hot tea and cookies for me?"
"When I figured out my parents were eating them."
"Frannie, Frannie. Remember pinda balls, from Hinduism?"
"Rice balls left as offerings for ancestors and gods."
"Do Hindus really believe that the ancestors and gods eat pinda balls?"
"All right, y'got me there. They say that spirits consume the spiritual essence, then mortals can have what's left."
"Mm-hm." Santa smiled at me compassionately through his snowy beard.
I rallied quickly. "What about the toys? I know for a fact they aren't made by you and a bunch of non-union Elves."
"Oh, that's quite true. Manufacturing physical objects out of magical energy is terribly expensive and breaks several laws of Nature--She only allows us to do that on special occasions. It certainly couldn't be done globally and annually. Now, the missus and the Elves and I really do have a shop at the North Pole. Not the sort of thing the Air Force would ever find. What we make up there is what makes this time a holiday, no matter what religion it's called."
"Don't tell me," I said, rolling my eyes, "you make the sun come back."
"Oh my, no. The solar cycle stuff, the Reason For The Season, isn't my department. My part is making it a holiday. We make a mild, non-addictive psychedelic thing called Christmas spirit. Try some."
He dipped his fingers in a pocket and tossed red-gold-green- silver glitter at me. I could have ducked. I don't know why I didn't.
It smelled like snow and pine needles, and cedar chips in the fireplace.
It smelled like fruitcake, cornbread savory herbal stuffing, like that foamy white stuff you spray on the window with stencils.
It felt like a crisp wind, Grandma's hugs, fuzzy new mittens, pine needles scrunching under my slippers.
I saw twinkle lights, mistletoe in the doorway, smiling faces from years gone by.
Several Christmas carols played almost simultaneously in a kind of medley.
I fought my way back to my living room and glared sternly at the hallucination in Jack's chair. "Fun stuff. Does the DEA know about this?"
"Oh, Frannie. Why are you such a hard case? I told you it's non-addictive and has no harmful side effects. Would Santa Claus lie to you?"
I opened my mouth and closed it again. We looked at each other a while.
"Can I have some more of that glittery stuff?"
"Mmmm. I think you need something stronger. Try a sugarplum."
I tasted rum ball.
Peppermint.
Those hard candies with the picture all the way through.
Mama's favorite fudge. A chorus line of Christmas candies danced through my mouth.
The Swedish Angel Chimes, run on candle power, say tingatingatingating .
Mama, with a funny smile, promised to give Santa my letter.
Greeting cards taped on the refrigerator door.
We rode through the tree farm on a straw-filled trailer pulled by a red and green tractor, looking for a perfect pine. It was so big, Daddy had to cut a bit off so the star wouldn't scrape the ceiling.
Lights, ornaments, tinsel.
Daddy lifted me up to the mantle to hang my stocking.
My dolls stayed up to see Santa Claus, and in the morning they all had new clothes.
Grandma carried in platters with the world's biggest Christmas dinner.
Joey's Christmas puppy chased my Christmas kitten up the tree and it would have fallen over but Daddy held it while Mama got the kitten out. Daddy said every bad word there was but he kept laughing anyway.
I sneaked my favorite plastic horse into the nativity scene, between the camels and the donkey.
I came back to reality slowly, with a silly smile on my face and a ticklyfeeling behind my eyes like they wanted to cry. The phrase "visions of sugarplums" took on a whole new meaning."
How long has it been," Santa asked, "since you played with a nativity set?-"
"But it symbolizes-- "
"The winter-born king. The sacred Mother and her sun-child. Got a problem with that? You could redecorate it with pentagrams if you like, they'll look fine. As for the Christianization, I've heard who you invoke at Imbolc."
"But Bridgid was a Goddess for centuries before the Catholic Church-oh." I crossed my arms and tried to glare at him, but failed.
"You're a sneaky old Elf, y'know?"
"The term is `jolly old Elf.' Care for another sugarplum?"
I did.
I tasted gingerbread.
My first nip of soy eggnog the way the grown-ups drink it.
Fresh sugar cookies, shaped like trees and decked with colored frosting.
Dad had been laid off, but we managed a lot of cheer. They told us Christmas would be "slim pickings." Joey and I smiled bravely when Mama brought home that spindly spruce. We loaded down our "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree" with every light and ornament it could hold. Popcorn and cranberry strings for the outdoor trees. Mistletoe in the hall: plastic mistletoe, real kisses. Joey and I snipped and glued and stitched and painted treasures to give as presents. We agonized over our "Santa" letters...by now we knew where the goodies came from, and we tried to compromise between what we longed for and they thought they could afford. Every day we hoped the factory would reopen. When Joey's dog ate my mitten, I wasn't brave. I knew that meant I'd get mittens for Christmas, and one less toy. I cried. On December twenty-fifth we opened our presents ve-ery slo-wly, drawing out the experience. We made a show of cheer over our socks and shirts and meager haul of toys. I got red mittens. We could tell Mama and Daddy were proud of us for being so brave, because they were grinning like crazy.
"Go out to the garage for apples." Mama told us, "We'll have apple pancakes."
I don't remember having the pancakes. There was a dollhouse in the garage. No mass-produced aluminum thing but a homemade plywood dollhouse with wall-papered walls and real curtains and thread-spool chairs. My dolls were inside, with newly sewn clothes. Joey was on his knees in front of a plywood barn with hay in the loft. His old farm implements had new paint. Our plastic animals were corralled in Popsicle stick fences. The garage smelled like apples and hay, the cement was bone-chilling under my slippers, and I was crying.
My knees were drawn up to my chest, arms wrapped around them. My chest felt tight, like ice cracking in sunshine. Santa offered me a huge white handkerchief. When all the ice in my chest had melted, he cleared his throat. He was pretty misty-eyed, too.
"Want to come sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas?"
"You've already given it to me." But I sat on his lap anyway, and kissed his rosy cheek until he did his famous laugh.
"I'd better go now, Frannie. I have other stops to make, and you have work to do."
"Right. I'd better pop the corn tonight, it strings best when it's stale.
"I let him out the door. The reindeer were pawing impatiently at the moon-kissed new-fallen snow. I'd swear Rudolph winked at me.
"Don't forget the hot tea and cookies."
"Right. Uh, December twenty-fourth, or Solstice, or what?"
He shrugged. "Whatever night you expect me, I'll be there. Eh, don't wait up. Visits like this are tightly rationed. Laws of Nature, y'know, and She's strict with them."
"Gotcha. Thanks, Santa." I kissed his cheek again. "Happy Holidays." The phrase had a nice, non-denominational ring to it. I thought I'd call my parents and in-laws soon and try it out on them. Santa laid his finger aside of his nose and nodded.
"Blessed be, Frannie."The sleigh soared up, and Santa really did exclaim something. It sounded like old German. Smart-aleck Elf. When I closed the door, the radio was playing Jethro Tull's "Solstice Bells."
~
Lighten up! Enjoy the magic of the season; their season, our season... whatever.
I think we all know a few fellow pagans who get in a snit around the holidaze...
found @ Domestic Witch
Santa's Wisdom to Pagans
Author unknown
Author unknown
We had a nice, serene kind of Solstice Circle. No jingling bells or faked-out Christmas Carols. Soon after the last coven member left, Jack was ready to pack it in."The baby's nestled all snug in her bed," he said with a yawn, "I think I'll go settle in for a long winter's nap."I heaved a martyred sigh. He grinned unrepentantly, kissed me, called me a grinch, and went to bed.
I stayed up and puttered around the house, trying to unwind. I sifted through the day's mail, ditched the flyers urging us to purchase all the Seasonal Joy we could afford or charge.I opened the card from his parents. Another sermonette: a manger scene and a bible verse, with a handwritten note expressing his mother's fervent hope that God's love and Christmas spirit would fill our hearts in this blessed season. She means well, really. I amused myself by picking out every Pagan element I could find in the card.
When the mail had been sorted, I got up and started turning our ritual room back into a living room. As if the greeting card had carried a virus, I found myself humming Christmas carols. I turned on the classic rock station, but they were playing that Lennon-Ono Christmas song. I switched stations. The weatherman assured me that there was only a twenty percent chance of snow. Then, by Loki, the deejay let Bruce Springsteen insult my ears crooning,
"yah better watch out, yah better not pout."
I tried the Oldies station. Elvis lives, and he does Christmas songs. Okay, fine. We'll do classical ~ no, we won't. They're playing Handel's Messiah. Maybe the community radio station would have something secular humanist.
"Ahora, escucharemos a Jose Feliciano canta `Feliz Navidad'."
I was getting annoyed. The radio doesn't usually get this saturated with holiday mush until the twenty-fourth.
"This is too weird." I said to the radio, "Cut that crap out." The country station had some Kenny Rogers Christmas tune, the first rock station had gone from John and Yoko's Christmas song to Simon and Garfunkel's "Silent Night," and the other rock station still had Springsteen reliving his childhood.
I was getting annoyed. The radio doesn't usually get this saturated with holiday mush until the twenty-fourth.
"This is too weird." I said to the radio, "Cut that crap out." The country station had some Kenny Rogers Christmas tune, the first rock station had gone from John and Yoko's Christmas song to Simon and Garfunkel's "Silent Night," and the other rock station still had Springsteen reliving his childhood.
"--I'm tellin' you why. Santa Claus is comin' to town!"
I was about to pick out a nice secular CD when there was a knock at the door. Now, it could have been a coven member who'd forgotten something. It could have been someone with car trouble. It could have been any number of things, but it certainly couldn't have been a stout guy in a red suit--snowy beard, rosy cheeks, and all--backed by eight reindeer and a sleigh. I blinked, wondered crazily where Rudolph was, and blinked again. There were nine reindeer. Our twenty-percent chance of snow had frosted the dead grass and was continuing to float down in fat flakes.
"Hi, Frannie." he said warmly, "I've missed you."
"I'm stone cold sober, and you don't exist."
He looked at me with a mixture of sorrow and compassion and sighed heavily.
"That's why I miss you, Frannie. Can I come in? We need to talk." I couldn't quite bring myself to slam the door on this vision, hallucination, or whatever. So I let him in, because that made more sense then letting all the cold air in while I argued with someone who wasn't there.
As he stepped in, a thought crossed my mind about various entities needing an invitation to get in houses. He flashed me a smile that would melt the polar caps.
"Don't you miss Christmas, Frannie?"
"No." I said flatly, "Apparently you don't see me when I'm sleeping and waking these days. I haven't been Christian for years."
"Oh, now don't let that stop you. We both know this holiday's older than that. Yule trees and Saturnalia and here-comes-the- sun, doodoodendoodoo. "
I raised an eyebrow at the Beatles reference, then gave him my standard sermonette on the appropriation and adulteration that made Christmas no longer a Pagan holiday. I had done my homework. I listed centuries, I named names--St.Nicholas among them.
"In the twentieth century version," I assured him, "Christmas is two parts crass commercialism mixed with one part blind faith in a religion I rejected years ago." I gave him my best lines, the ones that had convinced my coven to abstain from Christmassy clichés. My hallucination sat in Jack's favorite chair, nodding patiently at me.
"And you," I added nastily,"come here talking about ancient customs when you--in your current form--were invented in the nineteenth century by, um...Clement C. Moore.
"He laughed, a rolling, belly-deep chuckle unlike any department- store Santa I'd ever heard.
"Of course I change my form now and then to suit fashion. Don't you? And does that stop you from being yourself?" He said, and asked me if I remembered Real Magic, by Isaac Bonewits. I gaped at him for a moment, then caught myself.
"This is like `Labyrinth', right? I'm having a dream that pretends to be real, but is only made from pieces of things in my memory. You don't look a thing like David Bowie."
"Bonewits has this Switchboard Theory." Santa went on amiably, "The energy you put into your beliefs influences the real existence of the archetypal-- oh,let me put it simpler: "in the beginning, Man created God'. Ian Anderson."
He lit a long-stemmed pipe. The tobacco had a mild and somehow Christmassy smell, and every puff sent up a wreath of smoke. "I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than Bonewits tells it, but that's close enough for mortals. Are you with me so far?"
"Oh, sure." I lied as unconvincingly as possible.
Santa sighed heavily."When's the last time you left out hot tea and cookies for me?"
"When I figured out my parents were eating them."
"Frannie, Frannie. Remember pinda balls, from Hinduism?"
"Rice balls left as offerings for ancestors and gods."
"Do Hindus really believe that the ancestors and gods eat pinda balls?"
"All right, y'got me there. They say that spirits consume the spiritual essence, then mortals can have what's left."
"Mm-hm." Santa smiled at me compassionately through his snowy beard.
I rallied quickly. "What about the toys? I know for a fact they aren't made by you and a bunch of non-union Elves."
"Oh, that's quite true. Manufacturing physical objects out of magical energy is terribly expensive and breaks several laws of Nature--She only allows us to do that on special occasions. It certainly couldn't be done globally and annually. Now, the missus and the Elves and I really do have a shop at the North Pole. Not the sort of thing the Air Force would ever find. What we make up there is what makes this time a holiday, no matter what religion it's called."
"Don't tell me," I said, rolling my eyes, "you make the sun come back."
"Oh my, no. The solar cycle stuff, the Reason For The Season, isn't my department. My part is making it a holiday. We make a mild, non-addictive psychedelic thing called Christmas spirit. Try some."
He dipped his fingers in a pocket and tossed red-gold-green- silver glitter at me. I could have ducked. I don't know why I didn't.
It smelled like snow and pine needles, and cedar chips in the fireplace.
It smelled like fruitcake, cornbread savory herbal stuffing, like that foamy white stuff you spray on the window with stencils.
It felt like a crisp wind, Grandma's hugs, fuzzy new mittens, pine needles scrunching under my slippers.
I saw twinkle lights, mistletoe in the doorway, smiling faces from years gone by.
Several Christmas carols played almost simultaneously in a kind of medley.
I fought my way back to my living room and glared sternly at the hallucination in Jack's chair. "Fun stuff. Does the DEA know about this?"
"Oh, Frannie. Why are you such a hard case? I told you it's non-addictive and has no harmful side effects. Would Santa Claus lie to you?"
I opened my mouth and closed it again. We looked at each other a while.
"Can I have some more of that glittery stuff?"
"Mmmm. I think you need something stronger. Try a sugarplum."
I tasted rum ball.
Peppermint.
Those hard candies with the picture all the way through.
Mama's favorite fudge. A chorus line of Christmas candies danced through my mouth.
The Swedish Angel Chimes, run on candle power, say tingatingatingating .
Mama, with a funny smile, promised to give Santa my letter.
Greeting cards taped on the refrigerator door.
We rode through the tree farm on a straw-filled trailer pulled by a red and green tractor, looking for a perfect pine. It was so big, Daddy had to cut a bit off so the star wouldn't scrape the ceiling.
Lights, ornaments, tinsel.
Daddy lifted me up to the mantle to hang my stocking.
My dolls stayed up to see Santa Claus, and in the morning they all had new clothes.
Grandma carried in platters with the world's biggest Christmas dinner.
Joey's Christmas puppy chased my Christmas kitten up the tree and it would have fallen over but Daddy held it while Mama got the kitten out. Daddy said every bad word there was but he kept laughing anyway.
I sneaked my favorite plastic horse into the nativity scene, between the camels and the donkey.
I came back to reality slowly, with a silly smile on my face and a ticklyfeeling behind my eyes like they wanted to cry. The phrase "visions of sugarplums" took on a whole new meaning."
How long has it been," Santa asked, "since you played with a nativity set?-"
"But it symbolizes-- "
"The winter-born king. The sacred Mother and her sun-child. Got a problem with that? You could redecorate it with pentagrams if you like, they'll look fine. As for the Christianization, I've heard who you invoke at Imbolc."
"But Bridgid was a Goddess for centuries before the Catholic Church-oh." I crossed my arms and tried to glare at him, but failed.
"You're a sneaky old Elf, y'know?"
"The term is `jolly old Elf.' Care for another sugarplum?"
I did.
I tasted gingerbread.
My first nip of soy eggnog the way the grown-ups drink it.
Fresh sugar cookies, shaped like trees and decked with colored frosting.
Dad had been laid off, but we managed a lot of cheer. They told us Christmas would be "slim pickings." Joey and I smiled bravely when Mama brought home that spindly spruce. We loaded down our "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree" with every light and ornament it could hold. Popcorn and cranberry strings for the outdoor trees. Mistletoe in the hall: plastic mistletoe, real kisses. Joey and I snipped and glued and stitched and painted treasures to give as presents. We agonized over our "Santa" letters...by now we knew where the goodies came from, and we tried to compromise between what we longed for and they thought they could afford. Every day we hoped the factory would reopen. When Joey's dog ate my mitten, I wasn't brave. I knew that meant I'd get mittens for Christmas, and one less toy. I cried. On December twenty-fifth we opened our presents ve-ery slo-wly, drawing out the experience. We made a show of cheer over our socks and shirts and meager haul of toys. I got red mittens. We could tell Mama and Daddy were proud of us for being so brave, because they were grinning like crazy.
"Go out to the garage for apples." Mama told us, "We'll have apple pancakes."
I don't remember having the pancakes. There was a dollhouse in the garage. No mass-produced aluminum thing but a homemade plywood dollhouse with wall-papered walls and real curtains and thread-spool chairs. My dolls were inside, with newly sewn clothes. Joey was on his knees in front of a plywood barn with hay in the loft. His old farm implements had new paint. Our plastic animals were corralled in Popsicle stick fences. The garage smelled like apples and hay, the cement was bone-chilling under my slippers, and I was crying.
My knees were drawn up to my chest, arms wrapped around them. My chest felt tight, like ice cracking in sunshine. Santa offered me a huge white handkerchief. When all the ice in my chest had melted, he cleared his throat. He was pretty misty-eyed, too.
"Want to come sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas?"
"You've already given it to me." But I sat on his lap anyway, and kissed his rosy cheek until he did his famous laugh.
"I'd better go now, Frannie. I have other stops to make, and you have work to do."
"Right. I'd better pop the corn tonight, it strings best when it's stale.
"I let him out the door. The reindeer were pawing impatiently at the moon-kissed new-fallen snow. I'd swear Rudolph winked at me.
"Don't forget the hot tea and cookies."
"Right. Uh, December twenty-fourth, or Solstice, or what?"
He shrugged. "Whatever night you expect me, I'll be there. Eh, don't wait up. Visits like this are tightly rationed. Laws of Nature, y'know, and She's strict with them."
"Gotcha. Thanks, Santa." I kissed his cheek again. "Happy Holidays." The phrase had a nice, non-denominational ring to it. I thought I'd call my parents and in-laws soon and try it out on them. Santa laid his finger aside of his nose and nodded.
"Blessed be, Frannie."The sleigh soared up, and Santa really did exclaim something. It sounded like old German. Smart-aleck Elf. When I closed the door, the radio was playing Jethro Tull's "Solstice Bells."
~
Lighten up! Enjoy the magic of the season; their season, our season... whatever.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Happy Turkey Day to my US readers.
An Ode to the 'tune' of a Night Before Christmas
Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned -
The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation
With all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
Gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
'Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky,
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees....
Happy eating to all - pass the cranberries, please.
May your stuffing be tasty,
May your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious.
May your pies take the prize,
May your thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs!!
Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned -
The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation
With all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
Gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
'Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky,
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees....
Happy eating to all - pass the cranberries, please.
May your stuffing be tasty,
May your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious.
May your pies take the prize,
May your thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs!!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
I know.
Deep peace of the running waves to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.
A Celtic Prayer.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.
A Celtic Prayer.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tell me about you
Go on, you know you wanna.
Instead of me filling it out the meme, you fill it out in here. I'm looking forward to seeing your answers. Have Fun!
01. Your middle name, or explain your first name?
02. Mental age?
03. Single or taken?
04. Favorite book?
05. Favorite song or album?
06. What do you believe is your calling in life? Your greatest passion?
07. What's your worst recurring nightmare/biggest fear?
08. Faith, have you any? And if so, what, and if not, why not?
09. Do we know each other? Do we want to?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you tell me something painful if it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes - what are they?
17. What is your favorite food?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think you're a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about you, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Gender identity?
26. Affectionate/sexual orientation?
27. If you only had one day to live, what would we do together?
Instead of me filling it out the meme, you fill it out in here. I'm looking forward to seeing your answers. Have Fun!
01. Your middle name, or explain your first name?
02. Mental age?
03. Single or taken?
04. Favorite book?
05. Favorite song or album?
06. What do you believe is your calling in life? Your greatest passion?
07. What's your worst recurring nightmare/biggest fear?
08. Faith, have you any? And if so, what, and if not, why not?
09. Do we know each other? Do we want to?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you tell me something painful if it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes - what are they?
17. What is your favorite food?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think you're a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about you, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Gender identity?
26. Affectionate/sexual orientation?
27. If you only had one day to live, what would we do together?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Thursday, November 04, 2010
The Boss wasn't looking so,
I am outta here & offline for an extended long weekend! Behave! If you can't behave, make sure you have bail money! ♥
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Samhain Blessings
May you walk with Spirit and may the Spirits walk with you
Tonight is a night to call out those who came before.
Tonight I honor my ancestors.
Your blood runs in my veins,
your spirit is in my heart,
your memories are itouch my soul.
I remember all of you.
You are dead but never forgotten,
You live on within me,
and within those who are yet to be born.
Tonight is a night to call out those who came before.
Tonight I honor my ancestors.
Your blood runs in my veins,
your spirit is in my heart,
your memories are itouch my soul.
I remember all of you.
You are dead but never forgotten,
You live on within me,
and within those who are yet to be born.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sunday Sermon, a tad early
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~ Marianne Williamson.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~ Marianne Williamson.
Our yoga teacher read this at practise today.
It resonated for me.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Something to think about.
A friend on another blog site asked the question: What kind of old person do you want to be?
Having just come from visiting Beloved's Grandmother, who in her 90s climbed a tree at the reunion this summer, and smoked a joint - but is slowing down in ways that are "concerning."
I'm getting up there in years, and I find myself looking at random old people and thinking, assessing, "planning", evaluating... -
what kind of old person do you want to be?
Having just come from visiting Beloved's Grandmother, who in her 90s climbed a tree at the reunion this summer, and smoked a joint - but is slowing down in ways that are "concerning."
I'm getting up there in years, and I find myself looking at random old people and thinking, assessing, "planning", evaluating... -
I want to be a crazy old lady who laughs alot.
I want to be the white-haired crone who blesses hand-fastings
I want to be the wise woman who heals
I want to be the grandmother who bakes cookies, climbs trees, and wanders the woods with her grandkids
I want to be the elegant senior who treks around the world sipping coffee and wine in cafes and bistros everywhere.
I want to be the kind of old person who fondly remember the adventures of the past and the way things were, but doesn’t live there anymore becuase she’s too busy embracing the adventures of today.
I want to be the white-haired crone who blesses hand-fastings
I want to be the wise woman who heals
I want to be the grandmother who bakes cookies, climbs trees, and wanders the woods with her grandkids
I want to be the elegant senior who treks around the world sipping coffee and wine in cafes and bistros everywhere.
I want to be the kind of old person who fondly remember the adventures of the past and the way things were, but doesn’t live there anymore becuase she’s too busy embracing the adventures of today.
what kind of old person do you want to be?
Friday, October 15, 2010
A Public Service Announcement.
Helpful Hints For Winter
Keep your headlights clear with car wax!
Just wipe ordinary car wax on your headlights. It contains special water repellents that will prevent that messy mixture from accumulating on your lights - lasts 6 weeks.
Squeak-proof your wipers with rubbing alcohol!
Wipe the wipers with a cloth saturated with rubbing alcohol or ammonia.
This one trick can make badly streaking & squeaking wipers change to near perfect silence & clarity.
Ice-proof your windows with vinegar!
Frost on it's way? Just fill a spray bottle with three parts vinegar to one part water & spritz it on all your windows at night. In the morning, they'll be clear of icy mess.
Vinegar contains acetic acid, which raises the melting point of water---preventing water from freezing!
Prevent car doors from freezing shut with cooking spray!
Spritz cooking oil on the rubber seals around car doors & rub it in with a paper towel.
The cooking spray prevents water from melting into the rubber
Fog-proof your windshield with shaving cream!
Spray some shaving cream on the inside of your windshield & wipe if off with paper towels.
Shaving cream has many of the same ingredients found in commercial defoggers.
De-ice your lock in seconds with hand sanitizer!
Just put some hand sanitizer gel on the key & the lock & the problems solved!
Keep your headlights clear with car wax!
Just wipe ordinary car wax on your headlights. It contains special water repellents that will prevent that messy mixture from accumulating on your lights - lasts 6 weeks.
Squeak-proof your wipers with rubbing alcohol!
Wipe the wipers with a cloth saturated with rubbing alcohol or ammonia.
This one trick can make badly streaking & squeaking wipers change to near perfect silence & clarity.
Ice-proof your windows with vinegar!
Frost on it's way? Just fill a spray bottle with three parts vinegar to one part water & spritz it on all your windows at night. In the morning, they'll be clear of icy mess.
Vinegar contains acetic acid, which raises the melting point of water---preventing water from freezing!
Prevent car doors from freezing shut with cooking spray!
Spritz cooking oil on the rubber seals around car doors & rub it in with a paper towel.
The cooking spray prevents water from melting into the rubber
Fog-proof your windshield with shaving cream!
Spray some shaving cream on the inside of your windshield & wipe if off with paper towels.
Shaving cream has many of the same ingredients found in commercial defoggers.
De-ice your lock in seconds with hand sanitizer!
Just put some hand sanitizer gel on the key & the lock & the problems solved!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Rabbit made me do this.
Really! He did! See? MicaelChadwick.com
* 1. What is your favourite word?
I don't have an all-time favourite word. I love words. I get several "word of the day" emails in my inbox daily. I'm told I have an obnoxious tendency to use big words.
I become intrigued by a word until I find a new one that tickles my fancy. I am fickle word lover.
* 2. What is your least favourite word?
I gotta go with the Rabbit on this one - No. I hate hearing it. (Don't mind saying it - but that is another story innit?)
* 3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Porn.
Actually, I'm not sure. I'm not sure I want to know. Inspiration and flashes of creativity seems to come from unexpected places.
* 4. What turns you off?
Dogma, rules, "boxes", uptightedness (yes, that is a word. I just made it up, but it's still a word)
* 5. What is your favourite curse word?
I use shit and fuck alot. I don't know if that makes them my favourites or just the most easily accessible.
* 6. What sound or noise do you love?
I love hearing laughter. I love hearing silence. I love hearing nature's music with no human interference.
* 7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Persistent incessant noise: other people's music blaring out of their cars and drowning out my music, or my enjoyment of nature, or my conversations - Seriously shithead, your music isn't THAT good. I also hate the sound of someone barfing. And snoring? grrrrr
Loud cars and motorcycles (loud=/= fast, it just means your muffler be broke)
* 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Travel writing/photography
* 9. What profession would you not like to do?
Teaching (any age group) I have no patience. Actually, having no patience eliminates quite alot of careers.
* 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Girl, go back, start over, and this time, really give'em what for
Your turn.
* 1. What is your favourite word?
I don't have an all-time favourite word. I love words. I get several "word of the day" emails in my inbox daily. I'm told I have an obnoxious tendency to use big words.
I become intrigued by a word until I find a new one that tickles my fancy. I am fickle word lover.
* 2. What is your least favourite word?
I gotta go with the Rabbit on this one - No. I hate hearing it. (Don't mind saying it - but that is another story innit?)
* 3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Actually, I'm not sure. I'm not sure I want to know. Inspiration and flashes of creativity seems to come from unexpected places.
* 4. What turns you off?
Dogma, rules, "boxes", uptightedness (yes, that is a word. I just made it up, but it's still a word)
* 5. What is your favourite curse word?
I use shit and fuck alot. I don't know if that makes them my favourites or just the most easily accessible.
* 6. What sound or noise do you love?
I love hearing laughter. I love hearing silence. I love hearing nature's music with no human interference.
* 7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Persistent incessant noise: other people's music blaring out of their cars and drowning out my music, or my enjoyment of nature, or my conversations - Seriously shithead, your music isn't THAT good. I also hate the sound of someone barfing. And snoring? grrrrr
Loud cars and motorcycles (loud=/= fast, it just means your muffler be broke)
* 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Travel writing/photography
* 9. What profession would you not like to do?
Teaching (any age group) I have no patience. Actually, having no patience eliminates quite alot of careers.
* 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Girl, go back, start over, and this time, really give'em what for
Your turn.
Sex After Death.
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the sex after death.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Marion ... Marion"
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"
"No. I'm a rabbit in Arizona"
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Marion ... Marion"
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"
"No. I'm a rabbit in Arizona"
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
all on an autumn day.
The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.
~Galileo Galilei
Sometimes there is magic(k) in the most mundane of things...
Sometimes there is magic(k) in the most mundane of things...
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Practical Magic Blog (after) Party!
a day late due to the 'real world'
'Practical Magic'
Can love really travel back in time and heal a broken heart? Was it our joined hands that finally lifted Maria's curse? I'd like to think so. But there are some things I know for certain: always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can.
My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!
'Practical Magic'
Can love really travel back in time and heal a broken heart? Was it our joined hands that finally lifted Maria's curse? I'd like to think so. But there are some things I know for certain: always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can.
My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
A time for transition
We celebrate the balance of The Autumnal Equinox - Equal hours of light and darkness
For all that is bad, there is good.
For that which is despair, there is hope.
For the moments of pain, there are moments of love.
For all that falls, there is the chance to rise again.
May we find balance in our lives
For all that is bad, there is good.
For that which is despair, there is hope.
For the moments of pain, there are moments of love.
For all that falls, there is the chance to rise again.
May we find balance in our lives
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Don't be shy!
A couple of people have done this and I figure I'll try it too..
Ask me a question! Ask me anything!
I'll do my best to be as honest as one can be one 'teh intardwebs'
And if no one asks anything... that's okay too.
Ask me a question! Ask me anything!
I'll do my best to be as honest as one can be one 'teh intardwebs'
And if no one asks anything... that's okay too.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Girls getaway weekend
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls getaway trip - shopping, casinos, massages, facials etc.
Two days before they are leaving, Mary's husband puts his foot down and tells her she isn't going.
Mary's friends are very upset that she can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find Mary sitting in the bar drinking a glass of wine.
"Wow, how long have you been here and how did you talk your husband into letting you come?"
"Well, I've been here since last night.......yesterday evening I was sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes and said 'Guess who?"
I pulled his hands off to find all he was wearing was his birthday suit! He took my hand and lead me into the bedroom. The room was scented with perfume, had two dozen candles burning and rose petals scattered...........on the bed he had handcuffs and ropes. He told me tie and cuff him to the bed, so I did. And then he said, "Now you can do whatever you want"
So here I am. "
Sunday, September 12, 2010
WORD FOR THE DAY
Let your thoughts be global. The entire globe has shrunk into a small village. In one day, you may be wearing a British shirt, French glasses, a Japanese watch. Then what country do you belong to?
Sri Swami Satchidananda
Integral Yoga Magazine
Sri Swami Satchidananda
Integral Yoga Magazine
Friday, September 10, 2010
Sunday, September 05, 2010
sounds simple.
Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give.”
~William Arthur Ward
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give.”
~William Arthur Ward
Friday, September 03, 2010
Thursday, September 02, 2010
September 1, 2010
Sending Yourself Sunshine
Good Thoughts for the Day
Sending Yourself Sunshine
Good Thoughts for the Day
When things go wrong, it is easy to get into a bad mood, and that bad mood has a way of spiraling out and affecting our life for days to come. In the same way, when we feel badly about ourselves, we tend to act in ways that have repercussions, again creating a negative vibe that can negatively influence the next several days. While it is important that we allow ourselves to feel what we feel, and to be genuine, we do not have to completely surrender to a dark mood or feelings of self-doubt. In fact, the more we simply allow and accept our darkness as one part of the picture, the more easily we can also allow and accept our light. In this vein, we can temper our grey moods with an injection of sunshine in the form of sending good wishes to ourselves for the next 24 hours.
If you feel a bad mood coming on or find yourself plagued with negative feelings, take a moment to acknowledge that. At the same time, recognize that things can and will change, and that you can still have a good day, or a good week, especially if you take the time to visualize that for yourself. This is a great way to support yourself when you are working through tough times and hard feelings. When you visualize good things for yourself, you are sending yourself love and warmth, as well as encouraging yourself to keep going.
Before you even get out of bed in the morning, you can take the time to send good wishes to yourself all the way through to the next morning. As you picture your day, take the time to fill in the details—where you are going, who you will see, what you will do—and send love and good wishes ahead to yourself, as well as everyone you encounter. It will be like arriving in a new place and finding that an old friend has sent a bouquet of flowers from back home to welcome you and remind you that you are loved.
from DailyOM
I like balance. There is day and night, life and death, hot and cold. There are times in our lives when we soar and then times we must endure. I was taught about balance early - a witch that can't hex also can't heal. Acknowledge the dark. Acknowledge the light. Without both we are not whole.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
It's finally here!
Now available for pre-order... Paragenesis: Stories of the Dawn of Wraeththu, the Wraeththu short story anthology from Immanion Press.
Pre-Order Page:
http://ning.it/bK2rFp
Paragenesis: Stories of the Dawn of Wraeththu
Cover image here:
http://inception-magazine.com/zine/wp-co
Description:
Humanity's time is done. As a species it has ravaged the world and its own societies. From the ruins of civilisation arises a new race: Wraeththu. Androgynous, powerful and deadly, Wraeththu must rebuild or start anew. But when they are steeped in tribal warfare and gang culture remnants of their human past many cannot see beyond the moment, and it is up to the few who can to attempt to initiate change and growth.
Based on the world created by Storm Constantine for her Wraeththu novels, the stories in this collection are set in the very early days of Wraeththu history. Struggling to come to terms with their new condition, fighting to survive amid the hostile humans who remain, and the often equally-hostile Hara of other tribes, Wraeththu must learn quickly how to master their powerful abilities or succumb to the same fate that destroyed humanity.
With an introduction by TV producer Brad Carpenter, who is working on a TV mini-series inspired by the Wraeththu novels, and stories from ten writers, many of whom are well-known within Wraeththu fandom, and including a new story from Storm herself, Paragenesis expands upon the mythology of the novels, telling the stories of the prime movers whose lives altered the fate of Wraeththu for ever and the Hara whose tenacity and strength helped shape the future of their race.
Featuring stories by Storm Constantine, Wendy Darling, Christopher Coyle, Fiona Lane, Maria Leel, Martina Luise Pachali, Gwyn Harper, Suzanne Gabriel, Kristi Lee and Andy Bigwood. With cover by Ruby and illustrations by Ruby, Danielle Lainton and Andy Bigwood.
Pre-order now:http://www.immanion-press.com/info/book.a
Thursday, August 19, 2010
because that's the gutter into which my mind headed...
I'm out running errands at lunch and listening to the radio. I hear the DJ reading out an ad (like they do)
I am intrigued...in a *nudge nudge wink wink* kinda way
jigaloo - colour me disappointed
Lubri Penetra - equally disappointing.
An invisible allround lubricant!
a non-greasy film allowing everything to slip and slide
won't damage leather, rubber, or fabric...
a non-greasy film allowing everything to slip and slide
won't damage leather, rubber, or fabric...
I am intrigued...in a *nudge nudge wink wink* kinda way
jigaloo - colour me disappointed
Lubri Penetra - equally disappointing.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Open Letter
Dear Naomi Campbell
Millions of people have been killed, raped, tortured, and maimed in a war financed by those ‘dirty little rocks’. Seriously woman you’re not THAT stupid are you?? And yet your pouty, spoilt self had to let the court know you were miffed about being inconvenienced by being forced to testify in a War Crimes Trial. Yeah, cuz you have so many more important things to do, right? Like pose for nude pics? Slap around your assistants? Throw things at people?
Here’s a big can of Shut the fuck up! Drink up.
Millions of people have been killed, raped, tortured, and maimed in a war financed by those ‘dirty little rocks’. Seriously woman you’re not THAT stupid are you?? And yet your pouty, spoilt self had to let the court know you were miffed about being inconvenienced by being forced to testify in a War Crimes Trial. Yeah, cuz you have so many more important things to do, right? Like pose for nude pics? Slap around your assistants? Throw things at people?
Here’s a big can of Shut the fuck up! Drink up.
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Sometimes
Sometimes my geekdom intersects with my inner 11 year old
This amused me more than it should have
Stone Age carving may be ancient sex toy
This amused me more than it should have
Stone Age carving may be ancient sex toy
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
lemons to lemonade...
If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.
~Rabindranath Tagore
~Rabindranath Tagore
Saturday, June 26, 2010
so now you know...
I am... home and suffering from jet-lag
I think.... I should probably keep more of my opinions to myself
I should...probably not say "FUCK" so much.
I dream.... often and daydream even more
I want.... it all... and I want it NOW
I know...a little about lots and lots about a little
I don't like....arrogance, especially when it really isn’t warranted
I smell... like micro-brewed wheat beer - I probably shouldn’t have wiped up a spill with my sleeve
I hear.... purring
I fear.... bathing suit shopping. When is someone going to design a suit in a colour for those of us who don't tan?
I usually...talk too much.
I search... for balance
I miss.... being a kid
I always... am writing lists
I regret.... things I didn’t do more than things I did do.
I wonder.... about some people. :/
I crave.... laughter, and life
I remember... lot of things that will probably lead me to all the answers eventually
I need..... to dance
I forget.... everything , that’s why I write lists
I feel.... at the moment - a wee bit queasy.
I can.... and I do
I can't.... hmmm... not much 'I can’t' here
I am happy.... actually yes I am!
I lose.....my keys frequently
I sing.... when no one is around - I’m kind that way
I listen... with my heart as well as my ears
I shop..... only if I have to.
I eat.... to live and live to eat
I love... LIFE!
Now it's your turn...
I think.... I should probably keep more of my opinions to myself
I should...probably not say "FUCK" so much.
I dream.... often and daydream even more
I want.... it all... and I want it NOW
I know...a little about lots and lots about a little
I don't like....arrogance, especially when it really isn’t warranted
I smell... like micro-brewed wheat beer - I probably shouldn’t have wiped up a spill with my sleeve
I hear.... purring
I fear.... bathing suit shopping. When is someone going to design a suit in a colour for those of us who don't tan?
I usually...talk too much.
I search... for balance
I miss.... being a kid
I always... am writing lists
I regret.... things I didn’t do more than things I did do.
I wonder.... about some people. :/
I crave.... laughter, and life
I remember... lot of things that will probably lead me to all the answers eventually
I need..... to dance
I forget.... everything , that’s why I write lists
I feel.... at the moment - a wee bit queasy.
I can.... and I do
I can't.... hmmm... not much 'I can’t' here
I am happy.... actually yes I am!
I lose.....my keys frequently
I sing.... when no one is around - I’m kind that way
I listen... with my heart as well as my ears
I shop..... only if I have to.
I eat.... to live and live to eat
I love... LIFE!
Now it's your turn...
Friday, June 11, 2010
Prepare to be amazed !
Our world is a pretty amazing place.
Check it out:
New Scientist Pictures of the Day
Maybe we should take better care of it?
Just a thought.
:/
Check it out:
New Scientist Pictures of the Day
Maybe we should take better care of it?
Just a thought.
:/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)