because that's the gutter into which my mind headed...

I'm out running errands at lunch and listening to the radio. I hear the DJ reading out an ad (like they do)

An invisible allround lubricant!
a non-greasy film allowing everything to slip and slide
won't damage leather, rubber, or fabric...

I am intrigued...in a *nudge nudge wink wink* kinda way

jigaloo - colour me disappointed

Lubri Penetra - equally disappointing.