Last week in March!

Winter Postcard from Niagara 3

Yikes! Time she be flyin’! 
Next weekend is:

A) Ice Dragon How the heck did that happen already? It was months away last time I checked. If I was “smrt” I’d fix up / prep / adjust the garb now… but seriously, it’s NOT REENACTMENT if you’re not up the night before in panic sewing mode.
B) Western Easter – or “Find the Chocolate Eggs before the Dog Does” as it is known in our house.
C) April!!!!
D) Tax time! Crap! I need to borrow my work-calculators and organize my papers.

Music progresses glacially slowly. Honestly, I haven’t had much time to put any effort into it; yet again RealLife^TM and being a ‘grown up’ interferes with my fun time.

My teacher found a very basic ¹ version of a song I actually know (and that doesn’t classify as a children’s song² or something stupid written merely to illustrate the lesson concept³) – this greatly increases the chances I will actually ::ahem:: practice.

My poor teacher is used to teaching kids, so she is finding it challenging (as she is pretty much a kid herself) to come up with grown-up ways to impart certain musical concepts. For example, happy and sad aren’t cutting it as a way to differentiate Major and Minor chords. For me there are only two categories of sound⁴ – good and bad.
Good: Music, cats purring, waves on a beach, laughter, and the sound of your car finally turning over when it’s -27C (-17F
Bad: dentist drills, jackhammers, and listening to someone puke.


Attention any SCA –types and costumers out there who have any advice on working with boning…I’m all ears! This corset might be a more involved project than I was hoping for. Typical. I am lazy.


¹Basic = introduces use of two hands and two staves.
²Children’s – Mary had a little lamb isn’t as inspiring as one might think.
³Marcel darling, I’m looking at you.
⁴There is also a third category “Irritating sounds” but as this category is highly subjective to my mood it doesn’t really count

Wow. Really?

O.o Thanks to all you mostly lurkers out there!

That day in March

Currently, we're between "that day in March" and Spring. Bundled up and back to mittens and hats.

On the plus side - No mud!

















picture found on  Oh She Glows

Spring has sprung...

Spring has sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder where the birdies iz and we got snow.

It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!

~Mark Twain

Happy Spring Equinox to all!


photo found on Facebook credit to the original photographer

I knew there was a reason

and this is why I'm a Trekkie!
Spock's "It Gets Better" Letter

yeah, I got a few hobbies...

This is one of them...

So let's get this week rolling

The future has many names. For the weak it is unattainable. For the fearful it is the unknown. For the bold it is opportunity.

~Victor Hugo

I need a personal assistant or a social secretary! (hmmmm... Downton Abbey much?)

I've got so many extracurriculars scheduled that I need to sit down and really take a gander at the calendar and channel my inner Boy Scout and be prepared! I currently feel like I'm careening from activity to event to commitments without much time to catch my breath or adequately prepare. Ah well, #MeProblems*

And on this Meatless Monday I note with much amusement that I managed to get "The Others" to eat a whole week of meatless with nary a complaint.  In fact, I don't even think they noticed. Progress!


*see what I did there? a hashtag! I'm such a hipster! LOL

Irish for a day...

May you have all the happiness

and luck that life can hold—

And at the end of all your rainbows

may you find a pot of gold.

May your pockets be heavy—

Your heart be light,

And may good luck pursue you

Each morning and night.

Sláinte!

Please remember: If your beer is light enough to turn green, it's NOT real beer. :-)

 

Have a great weekend

When we tug at a single thing in nature, we find it attached to the rest of the world.

~John Muir

photo: http://nariane.deviantart.com/art/Spring-Colours-121636927

We made it!

This is how I feel today.
Unfortunately I can't be like this.
Therefore today's performance will be worthy of an Academy Award.

Happy Pi Day!

Happy Pi Day!

Possibly more Hallowe'en-themed than is normal for this day, but I like Hallowe'en.

Also Pumpkin Pie RULES and should be celebrated often.

The internet is full of shake your head and wonder things. I chuckle at those who feel it "necessary" to "warn" visitors to their sites and profiles.

Warnings are fair enough and warranted in some cases; nudity, difficult pictures (death, violence, etc), erotic notions that might cause wibbly knees..

But the warnings that I'm referring to are the "I'm a bad-ass - don't mess with me" ones

• If they claim they won't tolerate any "drama", they are usually the ones that generate it.
• If they claim they don't care what you think about their fandoms/life style/etc  they are usually the ones who take the slightest criticism to heart.
• If they tell you how dangerous they are... well, you get the picture, non?

I'll let you in on a wee secret kids - the most bad-ass soul on the internet isn't going to tell you; you'll either 'know', or you'll find out too late.
And now some free motherly advice - Don't wave red flags in front of Trolls... the interdweb is full of anons just wanting to yank your chain.

One more sleep until the weekend!


photo credit: Me!
pumpkin credit: Me kid*

*yes, I let my kids play with sharp things...

Paging Captain Obvious.

A casual meander through the grocery store had me doing a slow head-shake.

The store had a big shelf tag hanging under the bottled water that read “naturally fat-free” and there was another sign in a stack of fresh carrots that read “trans-fat free” and the lettuce was labeled “gluten-free” as was the mouthwash I purchased.

I was also at a farmers market once that was selling vegetarian apples.

Science literacy fail...

The sun is up.

I'm still not quite rocking this Daylight Savings time shtick.

I have crocuses!! They are up and almost open. Pretty, but a wee tab early for our geography! The Spring bulbs are my favourites; after them I really kinda lose interest in the flowery part of the garden.

Therefore this year I am doing something different* - I'm going to slowly turn my front garden into an herb garden with other plants I think are cool and aren't usually considered part of normal gardens**




*As if the neighbours didn't already have enough to complain about already
** No, not weeds... just 'different'

This!

 

LOL. Yes, I know practice would help.

the way it is ...

The Dog: I'm going to walk through every puddle out there.
Me: Okay
The Dog: I'm going to romp through the swamp.
Me: okay
The Dog: I'm going to make you walk me in the torrential rain
Me: *grumble* Okay
The Dog: I'm going to go swimming in the duckweed pond
Me: okay
The Dog: A bath?? How could you?! I can't believe you did that to me!

Today is gorgeous here!! Sunshine! Warmth (1C/34F)!
I was outside in just a t-shirt torturing brushing the dog ! Both pets blowing their coats at the same time! Spring is 'officially' here!

International Women's Day

I offer this invocation of the Divine Feminine, within us all- men and women- in celebration of International Women's Day. May this wild and wise fire stir our creativity in the service of Life:

I call on the Spirit of the Divine Feminine to bless us.

May we know the wildness and the wisdom that is our birthright.

There is a wildness in us

that is not content with small changes, half-measures, muted joys or polite tears.

There is a wildness in us that wants to dance with Dzunuk’wa,

Wild Woman of the Woods in the Pacific Northwest,

bathed in the silver light and blue shadows of the full moon,

gathering energy from our mother the earth to do what needs to be done.

There is a wildness in us that wants to ride like Durga and Kali,

into the fray, unafraid and fierce,

destroying the illusions of control that allow human beings

to defile the very wilderness that sustains their hearts and souls

and balances their minds and bodies.

There is wildness in us fuelled by a sorrow too big to bear in silence

that wants to wail at the destruction of the earth and the harming of her children,

that wants to rend our clothing and stand on the steps of the legislature

-thousands of women standing shoulder to shoulder, garments torn, wailing-

until the law makers act to protect the body and heart of every mother and child.

There is a place in us where wisdom and wildness dance together,

the place where Kwan-Yin speaks the true name of the sacred

that lives in every tree and flower,

every heart and mind, every stone and bit of blood and bone.

The place where we know what we know and will not pretend otherwise.

The place where Lilith says, “Hell No!”

when she is told she must obey unjust laws,

must be quiet, must subjugate her being to another’s priorities,

to “practical considerations,” or “economic realities.”

She is the Maiden warrior who stands for the heart that dares to dream in colour for herself and her sisters and brothers.

She is the protective Mother who stands between her children- all the children of Grandmother Earth- and the destructive power of the dominator culture.

She is the fierce Crone, the one who cannot be seduced or intimidated into being silent, the one who speaks the truth and calls on the hearts of all men and women to remember what they know, what they love, what they are.

Sacred Feminine Fire, ignite our wildness and our wisdom, so we may live all of who and what we are, loyal to the truth, unafraid of the fire, willing and able to dream a new world.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer (c) 2011

Can I get a Hell Yeah! for the fact that it's FRIDAY again?

And if, like me, you live in a part of the world were they still do that stupid DST Spring Forward/Fall Back crap - this is the weekend that we lose an hour... cuz ya'know we all need to lose an hour in the day. I will spend the next few weeks trying to reset the remarkably accurate Tummy Clock (Pet Edition).

*wanders off muttering darkly*

Huh-blah!

I call shenanigans! My knee hurts and I didn’t even do anything yet!
Dear Knee, you whiny bitch! I’ll give you something to complain about tonight – I’m upping the work out.

Don’t get me wrong I truly appreciate that modern freedoms, and conveniences…
BUT, I was born in the wrong century. Really. I should been an adult (wealthy, of course) in the early 1900s – I follow a Tumblr called omgthatdress and it’s pretty much a given that if my reaction to a dress is OMG I NEED THAT it is from anywhere between 1900-1915 (check out the tags and scroll past the jewelry, parasols, and fancy dress outfits)

So it might seem odd that I’m playing a much earlier period than that in the SCA (I play Viking to 1400s)* – in fact the SCA only plays as late as 1600-ish.

Lesson learned! One should never taunt the fates by even joking that your goal for the week is to get organized – I now have a mountain of laundry, I’m two dishwasher loads behind, and I didn’t read the memo** that said one of my deadlines had moved up. Can you smell the panic?
Although this week we did manage to get the recycling out in time, so – Yay! That counts, right?

Alright, that's me done. As you were!


*primarily because 1500 dress construction start to get complicated and messy.
**my bad!

Ceiling update

it's a bird.

that noisy critter romping my my office ceiling is a bird. Not a mouse, rat, killer squirrel, giant blood-thirsty spider, not even a slightly unhinged clown - it's a bird. 

So a live trap has been set... and now the waiting starts

An Open Letter to Whatever is Living in My Office Ceiling

Dear Whoever You Are,

1) Shut up - you are noisy and distracting.
2) Go on a frigging diet - knocking down that much dust?  Dude lose some weight!
3) There is ABSOLUTELY NO falling through the ceiling tiles and onto my head - got that?

 Guppies and Baklava,
Me

For the Record, I am okay with rodents - but if it's a giant spider I will lose my shit.

Monday

This weekend I:

• Went to a funeral. The irony is that each person who spoke said that the child had stated that she didn’t want a sad funeral – she wanted an Irish wake; a happy party where people remembered her and laughed, and each time they said it everyone cried. I hate cancer.
• Wrote. Plot bunnies beckoned.
• Practiced harp. Not really much but I did a little bit so shut up okay stop nagging me.

I must:

• Work on push-ups! Down is fine! Up? Not so much. The shame of it all

This week I will:

• Clean the fridge. No not really, but it sounds good doesn’t it?
• Get organized!! No not really, but it sounds good doesn’t it?

no one gets out alive.

there is nothing that can prepare you for the sight of a little white coffin. nothing.

March 1st!! And Friday! And (bonus!) Payday!

Requisite Weather-related Banter (CanCon!! ;) )

I LOVE winter! Really! Nothing beats a snowy day, blizzards, and icicles. I don’t even mind the shoveling. However by March 1 the coats, boots, mitts ON; coats, boots, mitts OFF routine gets a wee bit tiresome.

So, like all good Canadians, we gradually just stop wearing boots, mittens, scarves, and even coats – regardless of the weather.

Currently our weather is grey and the temperatures fluctuate between frozen, slush, and wet; not being able to know that in advance means you’re too hot, too cold, or too wet. In case you’re wondering - the dog doesn’t care.

What I could really go for about now is some good old sunshine! It can be as cold as it wants but SHINE ON!

Music

I had my harp lesson today. The next time someone who plays music tells me something along the lines of “I can’t do math” I will smack them silly. I have to do more freakin’ math (in my head no less!!) during music than I do at my desk – and I work in Finance. No spreadsheets in Music class. Guh!

Having been trained in dance I can get most parts of the bod doing different things … to a beat … counted in my head. This skill does not seem to extend to my fingers.

Also reading music seems to have more exceptions to rules than rules. Some monk in some monastery way back in some century deserves a spanking.

Hmmmmm

I started out this entry with a mission – I was going to rant about something or other, but I got distracted and now I don’t remember

I guess that means time you all get off early… Use the time wisely!

Bon Weekend les amis!

C'mon!!! You know you wanna!

I'm trying to get a team together for this one too.
Looks like fun!

Edit:  We're actually going to do THIS Colour Me Rad Run in support of Special Olympics instead. (also it's at Darien Lake instead of downtown  Buffalo)

Bring it on!

I will be ready!  I am a Warrior!

So excited!

halfway there...

Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows fall behind you.

~Maori proverb

I have a love/hate relationship both Pigeon Pose and Double Pigeon Pose.
I just plain hate Frog Pose.

It's lunchtime somewhere in the world.

So far today,

• I have almost knocked myself out with a door. The mechanism on a normally VERY heavy door was broken, I yoinked with typical force and KA-POW. Either that or my workouts are really paying off. No. really! That is totally what happened.
• I have a PR crisis on my hands. Oy Vey! The emails!
• I found out via the grapevine that people are saying I am responsible for getting someone fired. Seriously? 0.o
• I have a headache. Might be door related.
• I’m on my umpteenth coffee because: I have almost knocked myself out with a door, I Have a PR crisis on my hands, I found out via the grapevine that people are saying I am responsible for getting someone fired, and I have a headache.

How’s your Tuesday so far?

Fourteen is too young

The daughter of some friends died last night after a two year battle with brain cancer.
She was 14.
Rest in peace little one.

Meatless Monday’s DCP

Whether it’s a Meatless Monday, or Meatless Every Day, it is nonetheless Monday and time for a DCP¹

5 Good Things About Today
1. One day closer to the weekend!
2. I have no meetings scheduled for today
3. As it is budget planning season – I get to shut my office door, turn my heater up, listen to my music, and not be bothered.
4. Sunshine!! Sort of. Sometimes.
5. I saw deer this morning!

3 Things I Did Well
1. Procrastinate
2. Got up! (I did it well once the second alarm went off, and the dog jumped on the bed)
3. Not freak out too badly when I found the gift Kitty left me. I’m impressed actually! Not too shabby for an aged indoor pampered furball

2 Things I Look Forward To
1. My treadmill time with my new playlist
2. Mitch’s yoga class tonight

A bit of cognitive reframing therapy for this charming Monday. As revolting as it may be, I challenge all y’alls to do this!

So, back to the meatless thing…

Oh I could never be a vegetarian is what I commonly hear. Baby steps! If you think about it, some of what you eat might already be considered vegetarian (think mac n cheese, spaghetti marinara, veggie topped pizza)

Give it a try once a week and when you got that down go fer MOAR (slowly). It’s good for you! It’s good for the environment! And believe me the animals will appreciate not being slaughtered.
I still meet with some occasional grumbling and resistance but in our house there are always two things on the menu – Take it, and Leave it!²

• Meatless Monday
• Heart & Stroke Veggie recipes
• Vegetarian Resource Page
• Oh She Glows: An awesome vegan blog – great recipes (and drool-worthy photography)

In other news

• Beets are disgusting no matter what colour they are. Fact: gold beets just as gross as red ones.
• Learning to read music and play my harp is very hard and is making me cry - especially being surrounded by people who keep telling me it’s easy and I’m doing great. No it isn’t, and no, I’m not

¹ Disgustingly Cheerful Post – the kind of stuff that’ll make you wanna puke rainbows ’n shit buttercups.

² I’m not totally evil – they can always have a peanut butter sammich … which … just … happens … to … also … be vegetarian. HA! Old age and treachery wins again.

 

TGIF

Hey Friday,

Where ya been?  I sure have missed you.

Plans for the weekend include:
- redoing my workout playlists [thanks iPod >:(  ]


Whatever your plans... enjoy!

Love, and Cupcakes, Me

Tuesday's child is full of grace...

 

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell Tuesday, even if he doesn't spell it right.
 ~A. A. Milne quotes (English Humorist, creator of Winnie-the-Pooh, 1882-1956)
 

photo credit: S. Gabriel

Happy Family Day!

The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.

~Erma Bombeck

Happy Family Day*

* For those outside of certain Canadian Provinces – yes, that is a real holiday, apparently we "needed" a break so they threw one in.

I'm not complainng mind you, especially since work threw in an extra day! I get a 4 Day Weekend! Huzzah! Hallelujah! The laundry might actually get done. Ahahahaha no, just kidding!

Our plans are weather dependant – if it is a blustery feels like -27C (that’s a balmy -17F for you USAers) we’ll probably opt for indoor activities like eating, drinking, and arguing about music and politics. If it’s warmer we’ll venture out into the snow - maybe look for animal tracks in the woods.

The deer were pretty active last night; we’ve got little hoofy prints everywhere! Did either my ferocious were-beast, or vicious couch-cougar, alert me to their presence? No, no they did not, however they did make sure I got up in time for breakfast (no they did not start the coffee…)

To whoever invented fantasy, redwood trees, and apple pie for breakfast: well done.

~Dr. SunWolf

Go enjoy you day!

A Cautionary Tale

The liquor was spilled on the barroom floor
And the bar was closed for the night.
The little mouse crept from his hole in the wall
Into the pale moonlight.

He lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor
And back on his haunches he sat.
And all night long, you could hear him scream
"Bring on that goddamn cat!"
~ Author Unknown

Be careful out there tonight kids!

Half-Priced Chocolate Day

Happy Half-Priced Chocolate Day! (also Friday!)

I got turfed out of the house yesterday and forced to go to the gym as I’d become “intolerable” – “better you be bitching about being in pain than just plain bitching” – tis true! I admit it – I hate being inactive; especially mandatory inactivity*. My foot has healed well-enough that I am no longer inclined to listen to medical advice. I do promise to go slow so that my doc won’t smack me upside the head and give me that lecture again.

In other news:
The government continues to piss me off with its Big Brother-like antics and Big Corporate Donors before the Environment attitude.
I still hate Excel 2010
Not much else to report. (Thankfully!)


* I suffer from basic orneriness syndrome (BOS); I don’t do well with being told to do things (or not do things as the case in point). Tragically, this is a hereditary condition inherited by me kidlets. That, or my mother’s curse of “May you have 10 children just like you” came to partial fruition.

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day

I'm not a fan of this manipulative commercial guilt-driven holiday.  If you love someone, tell them everyday.

Instead of romance how about we "love" everyone, or if "love" is too hard, lets just not hate.

Give a thought to your heart as well... February is Heart Health Month.  Get off the couch, get off the internet, go out and do something health for your heart! ... and while you're at it - Eat a vegetable or two.

Keep your heart healthy: Canada Heart and Stroke Foundation



Photo credit: http://wallpaperswide.com/heart_in_snow-wallpapers.html

Lady in waiting

I don’t know what it is about February; perhaps I’ve had enough of winter. Cabin fever? I want to go! Go! Go! Go! But I feel as though there is something holding me back. If I could identify what that something was I’d shake it off and be gone, but it remains elusive; just beyond my conscious efforts to identify it.

It’s a time of year where I’m feeling a certain ennui . Discontent. Languor. Worldweariness.

Friends pop off to southern climes for all-inclusive luxury vacations – am I jealous? Not really. The kind of beaches I like are the deserted fall and winter beaches devoid of sun-worshipers and noise. I prefer to be alone with the sea birds and the surf.

Gardening catalogs have started arriving – Every year I promise myself that this is the year that I’ll start that garden, but I never do. My thumb is not as green as my soul.

New spring clothes have begun arriving in the shops, but we are months away from sleeveless blouse and capris weather; now is the time of wet boots and mud.

Deer tracks are everywhere and the coyote tracks are never far either. The great horned owls can be heard in the woods.

And I am waiting for some kind of a start signal.

Looking

Looking behind I am filled with gratitude. Looking forward I am filled with vision. Looking upwards I am filled with strength. Looking within I discover peace.

~Quero Apache Prayer

We have come to be danced

We have come to be danced
Not the pretty dance
Not the pretty pretty, pick me, pick me dance
But the claw our way back into the belly
Of the sacred, sensual animal dance
The unhinged, unplugged, cat is out of its box dance
The holding the precious moment in the palms
Of our hands and feet dance.

We have come to be danced
Not the jiffy booby, shake your booty for him dance
But the wring the sadness from our skin dance
The blow the chip off our shoulder dance.
The slap the apology from our posture dance.

We have come to be danced
Not the monkey see, monkey do dance
One two dance like you
One two three, dance like me dance
but the grave robber, tomb stalker
Tearing scabs and scars open dance
The rub the rhythm raw against our soul dance.

We have come to be danced
Not the nice, invisible, self-conscious shuffle
But the matted hair flying, voodoo mama
Shaman shakin’ ancient bones dance
The strip us from our casings, return our wings
Sharpen our claws and tongues dance
The shed dead cells and slip into
The luminous skin of love dance.

We have come to be danced
Not the hold our breath and wallow in the shallow end of the floor dance
But the meeting of the trinity, the body breath and beat dance
The shout hallelujah from the top of our thighs dance
The mother may I?
Yes you may take 10 giant leaps dance
The olly olly oxen free free free dance
The everyone can come to our heaven dance.

We have come to be danced
Where the kingdom’s collide
In the cathedral of flesh
To burn back into the light
To unravel, to play, to fly, to pray
To root in skin sanctuary
We have come to be danced

WE HAVE COME.


by Jewel Mathieson

Photo credit: NASA (http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/spaceimages/details.php?id=PIA16682)

Fix it...

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.

~Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

David Suzuki Foundation: http://www.davidsuzuki.org/
Green Ideas Network: http://www.greenideasnetwork.org/
Ontario Foodland: http://www.foodland.gov.on.ca/english/index.html (buy local!)
Chooseveg.ca: http://www.chooseveg.ca/animal-organizations-canada.asp

start. please.

Snow. We haz it.

The snow. It fell. Like it does in winter, in Canada.
As the blizzard hit in the morning and was predicted to worsen all day  => =>   Snow Day!

We broke records for a single day snow fall, and we got the most snow in Ontario (or Southern Ontario - news happened pre-coffee)
We didn't lose power - Yay!
They've plowed our street - *lifting jaw up off the floor*
We've dug out ... and the sun is shining.

http://www.businessinsider.com/photos-destructive-canada-oil-sands-2012-10?op=1

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/jun/06/tunnel-solar-belgium-rail

I know which I'd prefer.

Be content to progress in slow steps until you have legs to run and wings with which to fly.

~Padre Pio

oops!
Happy New Year!
Happy Groundhog Day! (has anyone ever caught on to the fact that it'll be Spring in 6 weeks anyways? hmm? No? Okay)
Happy Imbolc!
and happy a-couple-of-full-moons

I think I'm caught up now...

Santa's Headaches

Dear Santa,  
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 5 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.  
Merry Christmas,  
Timmy Jones
 

Dear Timmy,  
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.  
Merry Christmas,  
Santa Claus




Mr. Claus,  
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?  
Respectfully,  
Tim Jones
 
 
Mr. Jones,  
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.  
Very Truly Yours,  
S Claus
 

Now look here Fat Man,  
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!  
T-Bone
 
 
Listen Pizza Face,  
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.  
S Clizzy
 

Dear Santa,  
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.  
Timmy

 
Timmy,  
That's what I thought you little bastard.  
Santa

This seems to fit the times...

Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

The Talmud

Zooooommmm...

Wow.
I haven't updated since June?
Life got busy.
Perhaps I'll rectify the situation soon.

As you were.

Climb the mountain so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.

~Unknown

* To those who have died in war and conflict - Blessed Be

* To those who strive for peace - Brightest Blessings


Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace... you whooo

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
-John Lennon

Hanging in...

I prayed for change, so I changed my mind.
I prayed for guidance and learned to trust myself.
I prayed for happiness and realized I am not my ego.
I prayed for peace and learned to accept others unconditionally.
I prayed for abundance and realized my doubt kept it out.
I prayed for wealth and realized it is my health.
I prayed for a miracle and realized I am the miracle.
I prayed for a soul mate and realized I am the One.
I prayed for love and realized it’s always knocking,
but I have to allow it in.
- Jackson Kiddard

To Do (with diabolical music playing as background)

Step 1: Go someplace public with your laptop.
Step 2: Click HERE
Step 3: Press f11
Step 4: Start typing frantically.
Step 5: Make sure other people see your screen.
Step 6: ???????
Step 7: Enjoy!

It pays to check your SPAM filter!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

It pays to check your SPAM every now and then…

Got an email from the FBI!!!!  

Hello, I am *insert phony name* The THIRD and I am the EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE FBI. It is true I would not lie to you!

The email went on to name drop a half dozen official sounding USA organizations and Interpol and the bank of Nigeria.

It then told me only to respond to this email and everyone in all organizations will disavow all knowledge of this operation as it is secret – they are trying to trap a criminal and must secretly monitor and wiretap my accounts and phone so if wouldn’t mind to please confirm my name SS# bank account mother maiden name…. Yaddayaddayadda… failure to do so is punishable by LAW. THE ARMY will ARREST YOU!

 Ummm okay sport. BRING IT! LOL

I have a problem! Someone schedule an intervention – I compulsively collect recipes. I have a billion pdfs on my computer, and my allrecipes.com box is fast filling up, and on Pinterest… *sigh*

However, it did pay off…

Buy a box of sugar cones; fill them with chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, caramels, mini-marshmallows, nuts, and anything else you want to fit in.

Then, either:

1) Heat the oven to 375 -400F and prop the filled cones up in something that props them somewhat vertical (I used a small loaf pan). Basically you don’t want the melting goo to spill out. Bake for 15-20 minutes.

2) Wrap in foil and stick in a camp fire. (Can’t vouch for this method as I didn’t have a campfire handy)

Eat and enjoy.

Truth may walk through the world unarmed.

Bedouin Proverb

"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." 

~Happy Birthday, Susan B. Anthony!

Happy Heart Day!

Loving is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.  

~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand, and Stars, 1939

I'm not a fan of this manipulative commercial guilt driven holiday.  If you love someone, tell them everyday.

Instead of romance how about we "love" everyone, or if "love" is too hard, lets just not hate.

Give a thought to your heart as well... February is Heart Health Month.  Get off the couch, get off the internet, go out and do something health for your heart! ... and while you're at it - Eat a vegetable or two.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

      ~Thomas Alva Edison

Happy 2012.

Gott Nytt År
Feliz Año Nuevo
Godt Nytår
Bonne Année
Glückliches Neues Jahr
Athbhliain Shona
Blwyddyn Newydd Dda


However you say it...


May the best you have ever seen be the worst you will ever see.
May the mouse never leave your grain store with a tear drop in its eye.
May you always stay hale and hearty until you are old enough to die.
May you still be as happy as I always wish you to be.

May the hill rise behind you,
And may the mountain be always over the crest;
And may the God that you believe in
Hold you in the palm of his hand.

“Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep out alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing.”

—	Eve Ensler

Got this from George Takei's FB... I love it!

Instead of watching TV...

You know what you should do? Take photos of friends with their face squished against glass. Then assign the pictures to your phone contacts; it'll look like they're trapped inside your phone... just a thought.

Lest you think I have original thoughts, I confess to having stolen this from someone on Twitter ... or Tumblr... or somewhere.

Magic

“I want to be magic. I want to touch the heart of the world and make it smile. I want to be a friend of elves and live in a tree. Or under a hill. I want to marry a moonbeam and hear the stars sing. I don’t want to pretend at magic anymore. I want to be magic.”

~ Charles de Lint

art credit: "Light Flurries", R. Gonsalves

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.

~Madame Marie Curie

Drove to Bethesda, drove home.
Saw relatives. Ate too much.

Cold dreary single-digit weather.
I love it.

Today is October 1 - first day of my favourite month.
Two holidays - one month.

10 days until my accounting test.
14 days until I need to have completed an 1812-style ball gown.


photo credit: unknown
If it's yours let me know I'd love to give you credit and send readers to your gallery.

Food for Thought

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
Sarah Williams
from "The Old Astronomer to His Pupil" in Best Loved Poems of the American People

I love this...
I put it here, there, and everywhere more for me than for you gentle readers.
Hopefully you enjoy it too.

If it was only this easy.

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.

The i-Tit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup & speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them....

QED
Problem solved.

Food for Thought

Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities also has the power to make you commit atrocities.

~Voltaire

Something to think about as our politicians and religious leaders spout rhetoric and propaganda

just cuz...

Looking behind I am filled with gratitude. Looking forward I am filled with vision. Looking upwards I am filled with strength. Looking within I discover peace.

Quero Apache Prayer

Made of ALL of the WIN!